A PERSONAL STORY OF AWAKENING
A PERSONAL STORY
Kali manifested herself for the annihilation of demonic male power in order to restore peace and equilibrium. For a long time brutal 'asuric' (demonic) forces had been dominating and oppressing the world. Even the powerful gods were helpless and suffered defeat at their hands. They fled pell-mell in utter humiliation, a state hardly fit for the divine. Finally they prayed in desperation to the Daughter of the Himalayas to save gods and men alike. The gods sent forth their energies as streams of fire, and from these energies emerged the Great Goddess Durga.
In the great battle to destroy the most arrogant and truculent man-beasts, the goddess Kali sprang forth from the brow of Durga to join in the fierce fighting. As the 'forceful' aspect of Durga, Kali has been dubbed 'horrific' or 'terrible' in masculine-biased commentaries, without understanding of the episode's inner meaning. The challenge of sakti (feminine force) with its vast Sakta literature has not been properly presented to the world from the feminine viewpoint to bring out its truth. Even casual observations on the Durga episode by a woman writer may give a glimpse of a perspective which has been ignored and distorted by an extreme phallic culture.
Kali: The Feminine Force by Ajit Mookerjee 1988 Destiny Books New York
Chapter 14 - Kali
November 21, 2001. I spend my days writing letters to the US and Canadian governments about the war on terrorism and the laws that are being put in place so hastily. I am concerned about the issues of peace, civil liberties, the freedom to dissent...the environment; I feel like Atlas trying to hold the world up. I am enraged, frantic, worried, and, these days, hardly ever peaceful. I think of Thich Nhat Hanh saying that one must be peaceful to work for peace. In any case, I feel that I must speak out. I cannot seem to be remain silent. I write this piece for the local newspapers:
Joseph Campbell says, In the Buddhist systems, the Buddha appears in two aspects. There is the peaceful aspect and there is the wrathful aspect of the deity. If one clings to one's own view of one's world, and tries to hang on to that which may be needing to change in oneself - and the deity wants to open you - the wrathful aspect comes. It seems terrible, but if one is open enough then that same deity will turn into peace.
This speaks to me about Osama Bin Laden and the 'terrorists' we are so afraid of. We are all being asked to discover the 'terrorist' in ourselves, and it seems to me that the western nations need to find the 'terrorist' in our governing bodies; to acknowledge and face the shadow aspects in these institutions. If this is not done, then we, as a society, will never be able to stop the threat from without no matter how many laws are put in place.
Those who wish to speak publicly about globalization, freedom of speech, environmental concerns, and other important issues, must be given a great deal of room and respect so that they will feel their voices are being heard. That means finding forums for those who turn up at the GS Summits to protest decisions they feel are wrong, rather than building high walls around the "leaders" who are meeting inside and then tear gassing those outside who may feel desperate to have their voices heard. It means, instead of using rubber bullets to keep people away, allowing those who are genuinely concerned about the direction our world is heading and treating them with dignity and respect. If the government does not listen to those who are asking for change - even if it is in a disorderly and chaotic way - it will be guilty of creating more terrorists.
This is a time of great change in our society. Chaos is always a precursor to a change of consciousness, and we are certainly in a time of chaos. However, what is important is that we do not revert back to old ways of dealing with this change. We must not cling desperately to some false sense of security, while jailing people we suspect of being terrorists without their rights being adequately and fairly protected; all so that we as a society can feel "safe." There is no such thing as safety and for our governments to imagine that they can pass laws that will make all of us feel safe at the expense of breeding fear in the hearts of the Arab and Muslim communities, for example, would be a terrible mistake. A great deal of good can come from the events of September 11, 2001 if we can allow ourselves to open up to new possibilities and to our responsibilities to all of the citizens of the world. We are being called on, at this time in our history, to act in a way that shows compassion to our minority populations and to those countries who are suffering so greatly in other parts of the world.
We are all being asked to open to something new that is trying to come into being in our world. If we resist this powerful force by holding on to the old forms, without allowing room for the new to be born in us, then the wrathful aspect will create more and more Bin Ladens. If the governments of the world press down tightly on those who hold opposing views to the dominant culture - which are producing disastrous consequences in our world - then they will be the ones who should be held accountable for the terrorists who spring out of such repression. But if we give opportunities and space for dissenting voices and if we protect the rights of those who dissent - with just laws - then we will experience peace.
December 3. I don't know how to bear the pain in my liver. I have a deep knife-like pain that shoots into my side and through my stomach and spleen. I have been throwing up every day and night since September 11; it seems to come from deep in my solar plexus. I talk to a friend who had a similar experience when her solar plexus was opening. It helps to hear her story, but still I am left with the feeling of being tormented as I go through periods of what seem like a kind a madness as I vomit up the phlegm. I want to get off this path these days, but of course there is no getting off. I try to open to these new energies, but just as President Bush will not let them into his consciousness, I am also afraid of the 'terrorist' who has unleashed herself inside me.
December 12, 2001. I receive a letter from a young man who has been working on one of the environmental issues Peter and I are bringing forward in the form of a private prosecution against a municipal park board. He is very angry and scolding of me and my approach, which he calls confrontational. I drop into a very dark place after reading the letter. It is not that I haven't known some people may be angry with me for my views and actions, but somehow this email strikes a very familiar chord. It is the voice of my father and brothers, and it has silenced and shamed me many times. I have stood up for many issues in my life, in spite of fear, but now these negative voices of my past have to be confronted. The pain in my body is so severe; I go back for acupuncture treatments. They help a little, but still I must endure what feels like a tearing open of my abdomen. A few days after receiving the angry letter, I am able to respond from a place of strength and clarity. After I finish the letter, I happen to come upon a book on Kali which I have had for many years but have never identified with until now. I know She is with me and will guide me as I continue on this woman warrior's path.
We have suffered the consequences of unbalanced power for long enough. Our world cannot any longer tolerate the disruption and destruction brought about by demonic force. In the present Kali Age, Kali is the answer, and she will have to annihilate again in order to reveal the truth of things, which is her mission, and to restore to our natures that divine feminine spirituality which we have lost.
Kali: The Feminine Force by Ajit Mookerjee 1988 Destiny Books New York
August, 2002. For one long year the pain in my liver has been intense. Almost every day I have been vomiting up phlegm and the despair has been overwhelming. But, always there has been a sense of Something transforming me. I look back to September 11, 2001 and see that the dream of the semen shooting all over my apartment and my having to clean it up is so accurate. That is exactly what has happened. I have had the task of transforming the rage and of having to learn what terrible problems there are in our world due to greed and the government acquiescence to corporate desires. I feel as if a year ago I was so unaware of how the systems worked and how cultures were being dismantled for corporate and government gains. Part of my "waking up" was the election in British Columbia of a neo-liberal government which has a majority of 77 seats out of 79 in the Legislature. They are virtual dictators and, with lightening speed, have dismantled or weakened many of the social structures and environmental protections that we had come to expect our government would support. The poor, the elderly, the sick, women, First Nations peoples, and the vulnerable have been treated with hate, and most of the avenues of justice for those who are being denied their human rights have been legislated away.
Out of the deep despair of listening to stories about people being tyrannized, Peter and I started a website project called Creative Resistance. Before I began to channel my energies into this work, I felt as if I was going mad. But, slowly, slowly, the pain has transformed into action. I send out newsletters dedicated to ‘making injustices visible’ and spiritual teachings which help us find the strength to carry on when the world's problems seem so overwhelming. My life has taken a turn I could not have expected, and I feel very privileged to be opening to what is being asked of me .
Mirceae Eliade says in his book, Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy:
The shaman leaves his body, passes through a series of heavens, and communicates with all manner of spirits, seeking and gaining knowledge for the welfare of his community. By providing a link with the spiritual world and bringing back knowledge gained there he defends his society against darkness. But at the same time, he lives apart from the society he protects.
I thank you for the privilege of sharing this story with you.